I was only having a bite to eat, when I caught wind of an exchange between two men sitting at the table close by. “He left the wife for her” one said. “Sure who could blame him?” said the other. “Hard for the youngsters” one said. “Well sure as long as he’s happy” the other said, and on it went.

And what can you say to that? Little I suppose, for as we know well, the world has become a very different place in the past fifty years. Expectations have shifted and values are given a certain twist to justify all kinds of actions. All in all, however, something is not right. Most people can see that, in conscience at least, if not in mind. So here goes, let me explain…

A man and a woman complement each other. They are meant to be together. There is a physical, emotional and spiritual complementarity that is intrinsic to humanity. This complementarity is undeniable and obvious. When a man and woman come together in marriage they form an unbreakable bond that will echo in eternity. They solidify a union where each person says to the other “I will not leave you, I will stay with you no matter what. I will lead you to perfection and Christ, I will protect your dignity and worth, I will provide for your emotional and spiritual needs and I will serve them. You are mine and I will not let you be taken. You will achieve eternity, even if it means my life.”

And this is it. Simple and sound! So what is going on here? What is being missed? What is a man’s duty to a woman?

There is no greater travesty in this world and there is nothing less masculine than a man who refuses to commit to the woman God has given to him to walk the earth with, to lead, protect and provide for. There is nothing more cowardly than for a man to walk away from the duty and responsibility he has vowed. Equally, there is nothing less masculine than a refusal to commit. To communicate to a woman, “I will live with you, I will have children with you but I will not commit to you in marriage” is so unmanly it is perverted. Some people call it a trial marriage or relationship. In other words, “I will try you out, see what you’re like and if you don’t suit me you can hit the road or I can walk away?” Listen up! These are the thoughts of an adolescent, not a man. They are caused by the continued attraction to a life of pleasure and a rejection of a life of meaning, accepting a life for self and saying “no” to a life for another.

When a man and woman become married, they create a union which is designed from the beginning of time to be a center of nurturance and assured protection for children to grow physically, emotionally and spiritually where each partner is so dedicated to the other that the bond ensures children receive, in equal measure, that complementarity which enables them to grow into healthy men and women. The masculine and the feminine offer very unique and distinct attributes. The giving, strength of the father complements the receiving, nurturance of the mother. There is no greater or more beautiful connection for the prosperity of children than the giving nature of the family.

In the midst of this family is the man. Masculine strength and feminine strength are complementary but different in nature, equally beautiful and mysterious and offering qualities essential to the family connection.

As a man it is my duty to love my wife. When I see her I see, not myself, but her needs. I desire her good, to support her emotionally through trials and work, to direct her spiritually toward heaven, to prayer, to Christ and His Church. My duty is to first provide her the surety of my commitment. I say to her :

“I will stay with you no matter what, even when we get old, even if we do not get along, even if life becomes so hard it causes me to fall. If we have children I will be there to support you and provide them a safe unbreakable family to grow in health. I commit by marriage because anything else is holding myself back and to hold back is the opposite of masculinity. It is not being a man. A man’s duty is to give.”

Next, within that commitment I will work hard, for marriage is a challenge and while it is enriching and filled with joy it can also be a struggle. Still, it is a struggle we face together. I will vow that no matter what emotion emerges in me I will never allow it to divert me from my mission as a man to guide our marriage through the most turbulent of waters to heaven.

Now let me tell you a little about emotions and feelings. While emotions are very human and can be very good, they can also be deceptive and are potentially very dangerous. They may require a great might to resist, a battle of epic proportions sometimes for a man to overcome and be victorious. There will always be emotions, which tempt us away from our duties as men. Emotions are good but if they ever encourage us to turn our faces away, from the women or children our lives are devoted to, then they are wrong and should be resisted with all our masculine might. It is no joke that I call it a battle for the souls of men are at stake.

What is more masculine – The man who gives in to his emotions, or the man that can feel them and still say “no”? If a man cannot say “no” then he is addicted and must fight ever harder and seek out answers and solutions. He is not free, but enslaved.

A man’s duty to a woman is to love her, and not only his wife, but also the dignity of all women who are the greatest and most beautiful, the pinnacle of all God’s creation. There is nothing in the material world that is more magnificent than woman and God emphasizes this by placing a woman, His mother Mary, in highest position above all created things. Man must respect and nurture that beauty, protecting it against all attacks that seek to dehumanize her (abortion), degrade her (sex trafficking), and reduce her to the position of object (pornography). We must give our lives to defend our women, wives, daughters, mothers, sisters and female friends above even ourselves as people and provide them the freedom to be the holy, motherly bearers of humanity that they are created to be.

Protect your women, protect your children with them, and give your life to provide them with the union they require for the protection of their children – marriage. In Christ we trust!

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I was sitting sipping whisky with a friend of mine on Christmas night. That is whisky without the ‘e’ of course because it was scotch, rather than the Irish whiskey kind. To be fair, the Irish have always had a strong Celtic closeness or bond with our Scottish kinsfolk across the sea. In whisky we have one connection.

That night we had three varieties of whisky; Laphroaig 18 year, Laphroaig Quarter Cask from the Isle of Islay and The Belvenie Doublewood from Speyside. I need to be careful when talking about whisky in this manner because, as we all know, many men have become a little too friendly with the divil’s brew and it has caused them all sorts and kinds of troubles and strife. Lord knows I’ve known “many’s a man” who have had their lives entangled and twisted in multiple directions in pursuit of that amber broth. So, Warning/Disclaimer: Drink carefully and sensibly “malt mates” (ralfy.com).

Now that I have the serious bit over with, I would like to relate a few of the joys that can be found from making a wee drop a wee experience for yourself.

Whisky has a scent unlike any other liquid. I would say it is strong, pure, and natural of the earth. At least that is what my friend and I discussed as we sampled together. When I passed it to my wife and certain other family members at the table they turned their noses up and claimed my friend and I had been duped into drinking some form of motor oil or a type of strong medicine. And medicine it is sure, for “it’ll cure all ills, be you pagan, Christian or Jew” (The Rare Oul’ Mountain Dew).

Strong, pure and natural of the earth! Laphroaig is known as the most intense flavored of Scotch whiskies. It contains a peaty, turf fire taste as well as fine mountain floral undertones. The scent transforms to an old, stone, Irish homeliness if you allow a little time to pass. It is amazing how the smell alone relaxes and the liquid warms the belly. It is great for friendship and, to me, it has a taste of Ireland or Scotland itself. It is something beyond words that cannot be grasped, but which can only be felt as an integration of years living in the fields, bogs, mountains, rivers and streams of those noble countries.

When I drink whisky, I almost feel transferred to a place that may be more idealism than realism. Nonetheless, it is a place that is attainable if only for a short time in my longing. What is this place? It is place where men share a bond of respect and peace. A place where men can be comfortable with who they are and what they say. It is a place where man’s dignity and worth are taken into account and all are granted a respectful ear for their voice in any discussion, no matter the topic.

But in Ireland today I feel many young men yearn for that camaraderie found in solidarity with other men. In the world I speak of there is a feeling of belonging to a family of brothers. There is never any fear of being berated, derided or belittled. It is a place where a man can say something foolish and yet never feel small. In that world friends promote each other. The intention is to make a friend a better man, a great man. This world would never be a place where voice and spirit are crushed by anyone who fears that one-day their friend might surpass them in greatness. In this world a man says to another “I want you to be great and I will decrease if it means you can increase”

In Ireland today it seems young men face such a challenging conflict. On one hand, they have an intense thirst for comradeship but on the other hand they feel obligated to present an image or illusion of toughness, of the unbreakable, the man without weakness. Seeking closeness, they are scared to death so show it for fear that closeness may be interpreted as desire for something more than friendship and result in them being harshly rejected. Imagine a twisted world were you can’t show desire for friendship.

There are some very real forces in our culture today, which have warped the interpretation of friendship in men. Closeness can no longer be accepted as just friendship. There is always the maniacal question lingering in the background “is it something more?” Young men literally have this new culturally fabricated anxiety that their friendship could be interpreted by others or by their own friends as something more than just friendship. Their solution is to appear aloof and avoid all emotional expression. I call this madness an attack that needs to be opposed with all the might of masculine greatness we possess. It is a dangerous snake that has entered the garden to cause division and confusion in young male hearts. Young men are no longer discerning what it means to me male but rather taking on these fake forms of masculinity, desperate to display to the world that they are men and not …….

The forces causing and promoting these ideals are many and varied. Media messages (tv, movie or news report), advertisements and lobby or interest groups are some of the more obvious. We must be ever vigilant lest these forces erode our freedom to decide for ourselves, or our loved ones. They are already here and becoming stronger. Indeed, many men, young and old, have already fallen for the lie that maybe their friendship IS actually more than friendship. They ask whether the longing they have for male friendship is something more.

First and foremost, we must realize that it is okay to be men and human. We don’t need to fear friendship with another man. We can remain strong in conviction that “No, we won’t let you imprison our brothers, fathers or friends any longer.”

And so then…. back to whisky…It is my intention to enjoy it with good friends. There is nothing more to it. We will joke, we will laugh; we will enjoy each other’s company. We will support, uphold and direct each other to greatness and we will abhor and reject anything and anyone who seeks to achieve the opposite. We will accept that we are human and though we have weaknesses, we will pick ourselves up and move forward, virtuous and true.

Let us fight for the lives of our fellow Irish men. Pray for them and pray for good friends and family.

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Recently, I have been reading the biography of a very well known and renowned Irish man, Shane McGowan, held in high regard by many across the nation. I have not read particularly far into the story of his life but there is no doubt from the narrative that he was an exceptional talent and a die-hard lover of all things Irish. I admit to being a fan and I remember back to a night in Dublin when I tagged along with a good friend to see McGowan perform live with his new band “the Popes”.

It is hard for me to put into words what enthralls me about this man so much but I suppose I will try. To begin with he is a songwriter extraordinaire. His created music, to me, is amazing. He seems able to capture a sentiment that belongs to our people. There is energy, excitement, aggression, anger and yet eloquence, intelligence, and intellectual savvy to his person and here I give all this credit to a man who spent his life as a drunk and drug taker.

McGowan had a hard life, and even though much of it was of his own making we see the picture of a young boy who always wanted to play and who never quite discovered the meaning of his manhood. His young life until he was six years old was filled with fun, laughter, play, Irish music, stories, friendship, family and community fellowship in the fields of Tipperary. He was happy there and he fondly remembers, that despite poverty and having few material possessions, he and his family, which included a younger sister, were very happy. He played cowboys and Indians in the fields, he played IRA versus the British army, he remembers his home being a safe house for men on the run, he recalls neighbors being in and out on a regular basis as people came to play music, sing, have a cup of tea and even something a little stronger. He had his first drink as soon as he could walk and he remembers each night getting down on his knees with his family to pray the rosary. In fact until the age of eleven he was quite devout in his faith. Shane’s Catholicism appears to be very important to him though it is clear from the book he, like most, did not often understand it very well. In his songs he uses Catholic imagery regularly, positive and negative, because just like a human being, the Church has both sides to display.

Shane’s happy childhood included no running water, with a toilet in the bushes or out the back door, but his family wanted for nothing because they had everything in themselves. They had family and Shane was happy. It occurred at six years old when his world came crashing down. His parents, who went seeking fame and fortune over the peaceful existence Shane had come to know, wrestled Shane from his native Tipperary. He was thrust into the culture-shocking milieu of London city. It was like a blow to the head and for a six-year-old country boy in a big new and often-fearsome city Shane was lost.

Disruption can be a difficult experience for anyone. Even positive experiences in our lives can come with stress and pain. God knows the Irish have had their share of turmoil through it’s long history, two devastating famines and hundreds of years of warfare to name only three. So many songs of immigration, love and loss, and so many songs of what seemed to be the easiest accessible cure, the drink.

Shane became and grew up angry. His father, unable to deal with the disruption to his own life, immersed himself in drinking. His mother, unable to deal with the disruption to her own life, became depressed. Two parents became despondent to two children (Shane and his younger sister) who so desperately needed their support and care. Shane’s answer was to seek comfort in the punk scene of London, in music, violence, drink and drugs.

It is a sad life, and one that is not easy to read about but it is one sure way to discover that there really is a cure and hope for those who are caught up in an eternally disrupted world. It is not about us!

It is not about us!

It is not about us!

It is a great truth that while we may have disrupted lives the greatest cure to those disruptions is family. When we are troubled we are comforted when our family look to us and say lovingly “It is okay, I am here for you and I will help you through”. Shane lost that and I venture to speculate he became not only angry, but sad. It is true that so many children are growing up today like Shane did, with heartbroken parents who never had parents to support them through their trials, disappointments and hurt. And generation after generation the cycle continues.

Family, however, is the answer to it all. It is the answer to a strong home, strong individuals emerging to build a strong community, which influences in turn the development of other strong communities and eventually to the defining of a strong Ireland. We exist as human beings to put our hands on the shoulders of those we love and to let them know, not only with words, but in deed, that we are there for them no matter what they are going through. This truth applies even more so to our own children, wives, husbands and after that to others.

And what is our role as men. The answer is strength. By knowing this, by understanding and being aware of it, we can then decide “No, I will not allow this cycle to break my family. I will not allow the evils of my past to disrupt my present.” Men have the ability to fight back and break the cycle of hurt, depression, or monotony that enslaves their families. They just need to start being men. See article “Why is Matt Talbot so bloody manly anyway?”

New life begins in the present and it begins with the self. Shane McGowan became an adolescent, a child longing to express himself, for someone to take notice of his achievements. He is no different than any of us. We all need affirmation from those we look up to, but we need most of all to recognize that those around us and those we care for also need affirmation. A child may go to London or, as Shane McGowan says, “to county hell” but those disruptions can be overcome. They will even strengthen boys and girls to become the men and women they are ordained to be, if all they have behind them is family, a father and mother who love and support them.

So what is it that enraptures me about Shane McGowan. The answer is simple. He is a man, a human being just like me. He is drawn to being Catholic and Irish, just like me and yearns to understand it all. He has weaknesses, he has strengths, he has fallen and he has pulled himself back up. He keeps grafting, he keeps giving, he keeps creating and he has not given up. He is a man, not perfect and certainly not sinless, but a man nonetheless. Though he remains, locked in a state of adolescence, Shane deserves respect and gratitude and support and love, just as we all do because he has dignity as a human being. He, like us all, just needs the arm of support or the nod of approval from those figures of strength he once looked up to. I wish him peace and rest in this life and the next. God bless him!

Let us be men and women, fathers and mothers, who we are called to be and let us strengthen our children for the future.

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An old man staggered up to me in the street, pint glass in hand. Laying his right hand on my shoulder he slurred out the question “Why is Matt Talbot so bloody manly anyway?” I wish he could hear my answer.

There is no doubt that Matt Talbot is a very holy man and on this very special feast day, the solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, it is fitting to acknowledge that he was exceptionally devoted in his life to the Mother of Jesus Christ, our God. He considered himself her slave and he went out of his way to demonstrate his devotion to her by wearing chains of penance on his legs and arms and by offering up penance, prayer and masses to people he had wronged in his life. Now, I say to you, that is a real man.

You see, Matt Talbot was a flaming alcoholic for much of his early life. From the age of thirteen he had become hooked on a liquid, which takes the lives of so many of our Irish men. Every penny he had went to what eroded away at a life that held so much promise. Every second, day, year of his life given over to partaking in an activity, wasting precious seconds that were gifted to him to be in service to the Lord God. His masculinity decimated, his desire to serve and give to others crushed, he found himself penniless, in debt, having wronged so many and given up on any hope of family life.

Now this is not a story of life lost. It is also not a story of what could be if an alcoholic could change his mind. For that is not a realistic assessment of the situation. Matt Talbot once said:

“Never be too hard on the man who can’t give up drink. It’s as hard to give up the drink, as it is to raise the dead to life again. But both are possible and even easy for Our Lord. We have only to depend on him.”

The attraction to alcohol is so emotionally embedded in the personality of the human imprisoned that it is almost impossible to escape the clutches of the dreaded disease. I can change noone and intend nothing of the sort with this article.

Matt Talbot hit rock bottom. Standing outside a pub one night penniless, his only hope was the desire of being invited in by a passerby for a drink. This did not happen and it was then that, in a moment, Matt walked away from that pub. And history was made…

This was not a planned occurrence. This decision did not have weeks of Matt scrupulously deciding upon a big change for his future. What happened then was a momentary resolve. It occurred in an instant. Matt decided to move one step at a time away from the door of the public house that had held him prisoner for so many years. As each step got further away circumstances occured. A meeting with his mother came next. In that moment he said to her he was taking the pledge. Moment to moment he began to live. In each moment he made a decision to do the right thing. He took the pledge for three months. In each moment of those three months he continued to make decisions to do the right thing. He made it to three and so took the pledge to six months and eventually for his lifetime.

Matt is now being considered for sainthood. He dedicated his life to paying back his financial debts and he dedicated his life to paying back his spiritual debts. He had Masses said for those he wronged and he prayed fervently for others.

What is fascinating about this holy venerable is that it was in that split second outside the pub in Dublin that he became in a moment, a man. He started to live in what is the most powerful tool we, as men, have – the present moment.

Saint Faustina, of Jesus’ Divine Mercy, talked frequently about the beautiful gift of the present moment. The past is gone and there is nothing we can do about it. We may have had it tough, we may have had difficult relationships and troubles and we may have been horrible people to others. But that is gone now. The past no longer exists. The future does not exist yet either. It has not come yet and it may not come. We have no idea what the future holds. Therefore, all we really have is the present moment. We have nothing else. And therefore, it is what we do with that moment, that present moment, what we decide to do, think, speak or act, that will define who we are as people. That is the key and secret to life my friends. If we know in our hearts that life is about serving God. If we decide to give our moments to what is good and for the good of others then we can rest in the peace of knowing we are following his will.

This action takes only one step at a time. Ask the question “what should I be doing in this moment to serve God, to be doing what is right and good”. Worry only about that moment and get through it and leave the next moment for when it comes.

This was Matt Talbot. It is why he is considered manly and holy. He started that night outside the pub to take one step at a time, one moment at a time, to do what is right. In that moment he left adolescence behind and became a man, he became strong, he moved forward and though he no doubt fell often, he continued always to get right back up and to struggle on. He did not give up and he created one of the most beautiful and masculine lives ever witnessed in Ireland. To give yourself for others, that is the heart of a man. To reject it is to reject your true calling.

Let us today begin to embrace our present moments and ask God what it is He needs most from us now. If we do this we will make Ireland great again.

Venerable Matt Talbot pray for us.

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One of the greatest difficulties or challenges to a man in the modern world are the vast numbers of distractions that exist to prevent him from achieving his mission as a man, which is to give, give, give to others until he can give no more, and even then, finding the energy to give more.

Some days it seems to me that many men or boys have lost that giving sense of what it means to be male. It seems ever more that many men no longer know what it means to be a man at all.

When I look back on my days growing up I remember the men in my life and the witness of masculinity they gave to me. I was blessed to have had strong, work-oriented role models in my life. These were men who longed for the outside, to get their hands in the earth, to exercise the muscular might the Lord has blessed them with in the service of those they worked for, in the service of their families and in the service of themselves, for nothing is more satisfying that embracing the natural appetite of the man. A man wants to work, a man wants to give and a man wants to create. This truth is inescapable but somehow many have lost it.

I remember watching my grandfather, father and uncles, stacking hay bales six or seven stories high on the back of a trailer. Although I was too young to lift a bale alone, I longed to one day grasped the blue strings and hoist it above my head for at that moment I would be exercising what my mind and body had been designed for, hard, effort. If something could not be achieved, the men in my life did not give up; they considered the problem and they worked until a solution was found. “Intrinsic” is the word. To a man, creatively insisting upon the completion of a hard task is intrinsic. I can still hear my father tell me “never leave a job until it’s done.”

I think back to pictures, in Ireland, of men working to cut turf. The effort and strength, and skill to master such a task, to struggle for long hours without stopping and, most of all, to enjoy every second; this is one of the most exhilarating masculine experiences on earth. Those men had tapped into something so very ancient, raw and true. Their minds were united and their hearts devoted. As men embracing their calling, they were in harmony. Those men could go home to their wives and children content that they had given and served and they would rise again to grasp their glorified selves again the next morning.

It is true that not all men are called to a life in the fields. We are all different. Some are schoolmasters, some carpenters, plumbers or electricians. Some are shopkeepers, barbers, writers, philosophers, priests, bishops and pope. However, there is one unquestionable element that unites us all and that is our effort, our creative longing to give for the good of others, our appetite to lead, protect and provide. That is our God given right. That is our God given purpose.

So stop for a moment and reflect as men together. What is it in our lives that keep us from that fulfillment, from that contentedness? As I sit here today writing these words I reflect on the whirlwind of empty activities that I have engaged my effort in that have furthered in no sense my yearning to provide for and serve my wife and child. These things are not bad in themselves but oh how they distract me from what my heart longs for and having tasted creativity just a little my desire for it is unquenchable. We as men all have that desire.

So I call upon you today. Put down your remote control, turn away from mindless Internet clicking, set aside the computer games that offer nothing only the filling of time. If you seek relaxation, then seek it with full knowledge of contentment in having given your day for the good of those you love. Step into the world and unite in mind with other men. Work together, laugh together, respect each other, listen, advise, love. Give of your life as Christ did and with Christ you will be able to one-day bow your head in quiet contentment, having achieved the masculine promise of victory over death for your calling is modeled in Him nailed to the cross. He who created all, He who gave all for you and I, and all whom He loved, He who bowed His head as you will and with peace He uttered the greatest words a man can ever express – “It is accomplished” (John 19:30).

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Ireland is a unique country in that there is special and immense national pride and passion in all things Irish. When we announce to another person, “I am Irish”, that phrase packs an enormous punch. It slices to the core of our very being. In those three words you are communicating to the other your communality with the heart of mother earth itself.

Ireland, and being Irish, encompasses so much that is good, ancient and, dare I say, spiritual. Ireland is songs and stories and history. It is beautiful mountains, forests, fields and streams. We take pride in our writers and poets, heroes of old, kings, queens, legends, history rich in Irish dignity, respect, strength, tragedy, bravery, power, loss, division, grief. I love Ireland and I am proud to lay claim to being born upon the land, which allows me to carry with me life-long the title “Irish”. It is almost as though I take upon myself all that I have mentioned. I seem to own the history, the songs the stories, the art, the writing, the poetry, the land, the heroes, the people with their idiosyncrasies and also their simplicity. That is mine. I take pride in all of it, as though it belonged to me, as though it were intrinsic to my very being, my humanity, deeply embedded in my lifeblood. And it belongs to me because I am Irish and I am in love with being Irish, with Ireland.

Now it occurred to me recently that one of the great experiences of being Irish is the desire to enjoy the company of others and to give yourself, body and soul to a conversation with another. I wonder do we, as people, continue to take that longing seriously? To sit and simply enjoy the company of another person with their conversation, their interests, their similarities and their differences from us, has the potential to be as exciting as exploring a beautiful Irish landscape with it’s old stone houses and hills, rivers and streams. If we think about it, a short time with an person, as a human being, can be every bit as satisfying as sitting on the edge of a cliff side in Donegal searching and encountering the awe inspiring Atlantic Ocean. Am I wise?

I truly believe that nothing can be said for a genuine experience of another person. To be truthful, just as a woman can enjoy the company of another woman, “God forbid”, so too can a man enjoy the company of another man. I venture to use the word beautiful, mysterious, mystifying, to describe that openness to good friendship.

As a young boy I remember driving around the countryside with my grandfather in his battered old yellow Ford Cortina. A child I was and I longed to understand this man in my life who I looked up to and sought to emulate. He held a masculine calm. He portrayed a calculated reserved disposition, which intrigued me so, in contrast to me who was so eager to express and convey my inner emotional life to all who would take notice. He would take me to the homes of his friends, and there, by their fires, over tea, I would watch and listen to them collaborate for hours as I soaked up every word, every facial expression, every hand gesture and every cryptic silence that communicated more than I could ever have imagined. It was a mysterious dance and I longed to know it as each set of two men merged their minds in ways only men do.

As I grew, I continued to witness those similar interactions between my father and my uncles, my father and his friends, my uncles and the world. These men became my role models containing all their faults and yet holding serenely to their trials, strength and humanity. They possessed a contemplative wisdom and emotional mastery, often in the face of strife and upheaval. As I look back upon it today, I know and see their weaknesses, but I see also what made them who they were – men – and I feel pride. I feel proud to be known as their kin, not only because I am related to them by blood, but because, like them, I too am now a man. I have been graced to learn, integrate, and make my own, the masculine witness they provided. Their creative strength, their desire to give of themselves, their competitive silence I now embrace. I do so though with a very stark awareness of what I now possess.

As I sit now with my male companions sipping tea or enjoying a small sip of whisky, I am taken back to the old days when my masculine foundations were laid. There is nothing greater to a young boy, than to receive the nod of approval from the men in his life. In turn, there is nothing more devastating to a young boy than to have that nod withheld. To see your father smile upon your achievements is nothing short of seeds cultivated, as a platform is laid for a young man to emerge and progress forward to adulthood confident in the affirmation that he is supported. To know that you have a man, who will fight for your right to develop into the person God has ordained you to become, is the greatest liberty a child can possess, a gift of freedom to ‘become’. A blessing from God the Father through my own Father, from his father, to me. Nothing is more precious.

As Irish men and fathers, let us remember today our duty to give our masculine witness to our sons and the next generation of boys. Masculinity is strength, but it is strength that comes with great responsibility. We can be strong and use that strength for our own selfish ends or we can be strong and use that strength to nurture those under our care toward greatness and heaven. Our strength has been gifted to us, let us gift it to others for their good, not ours. Teach what is good and wholesome, true. Teach young men their duty to woman, to child, the duty to give – to death if necessary. In this way Ireland will be forever great!

The greatest power we have as men is to give for others. Let us support each other in that goal so that we, and our male children can be proud of embracing, not only the title “Irish”, but also the title “Man”. God bless us in this mission!

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Let me tell you a little about my Christmas. I took a week off to enjoy with my family. I feel it is very important to do your best to spend as much time with your family as possible during the week of Christmas. As a man, I believe it is good for my family, for me to make myself available to them.

At this time of the year I usually experience some form of internal conflict, in the form of thoughts and anxiety. Whether it is the divil causing havoc or the Lord himself beating on my conscience I can never be quite sure, but I tend to have some type of ideological conundrum to solve, just in time for the New Year resolutions. Well this year was no different.

As a child, I always remembered plenty of presents set neatly around the room on Christmas morning as my siblings and I crept slowly down the stairs; tiptoeing and whispering for fear Jolly old Saint Nicholas was still in action. We always happened to miss him. I, being the oldest, took the lead as I guided by sister and two brothers to the site of the Christmas tree. On a cold Irish morning, the tiled floor was freezing to our little feet and the previous night’s coal fire was barely glowing and refusing to provide us with any more heat until we fed it. But feeding fires was not on our minds. In the dark of the morning we usually could make out the outline of our presents laying on the sofa seats and our hearts leapt with excitement to see them. And so was the magic. I always felt a strange profound sense of wonder to acknowledge that another person had been in our living room, big, round and red, having touched these very gifts, which my siblings and I now held.

As you can probably imagine, I was always the Santa apologist of my school. I refused to the very bitter end to acknowledge the non-existence of a man who provides so much magic and cheer. To this very day I will fight any man who claims otherwise. He is magic, he is joy, he is cheer, he brings families together and breathes the life of peace into their hearts, even if that is for only one day of the year. I love the idea of Santa Claus and what he represents and it is so that, on every Christmas, I am adamant that the tradition of experiencing that beautiful, unifying magic continues with my daughter on Christmas day as I now creep down the stairs with her to discover what wonders lie beneath our sparkling tree.

So what is the issue? Well the issue is that I am my daughter’s father and I am my wife’s husband and it is my responsibility as head of the household to work for their spiritual welfare and lead them to Jesus Christ, in body and spirit, who is after all, the absolute reason for the beauty of Christmas. All those feelings associated with Santa Claus, the joy, peace, good will for fellow man, love, sharing, kindness, gentleness, respect. All these virtues are Christian, of Christ. He is responsible. The magic I speak of is Jesus Himself and it is my responsibility as a man to ensure those I love and care for receive everything. That means Christ, Who IS everything we long for.

So my conflict is, am I emphasizing the gifts and Santa and the tree and music and movies without Christ? I believe the answer is that we should never lose sight of Jesus at any time of the year and especially during all feast periods, including Christmas. As we move through the Christmas period we should always be aware of Him. When we talk of Santa Claus, we should have Christ on our hearts and minds to also make our children aware that He is important. We should set our homes up to have religious Christmas images such as a nativity scene in prominent view so our children and our wives know Christ Jesus is important. And if Christ is important to me as a father, then he will be important to my wife and child.

Mass is an obligation on Sundays and all holy days. At mass, as fathers, we should kneel before our Lord Jesus in the Holy Eucharist and bow to Him to show we acknowledge the breathtaking magnificence of God in our very midst. For if our children see us loving the Lord God, it will also become, for them, important. We, as fathers, lead our families to prayer, to Mass, to Jesus, as we are ordained to do. We must never stop short of this goal. We must be willing to die to achieve it and with every last ounce of our breath we must ensure our families are directed toward heaven. This is what it means to be a man – giving until we can no longer give, and yet still then, finding the energy to give some more, as Christ did when he accomplished his nailing to the cross and the downfall of the devil. May He, our King be praised forever!

And so as I moved through Christmas, I contemplated my role. I would provide to my daughter the love, peace, joy and magic that I experienced in my home in Ireland. I would also, however, expose her to the love, joy, peace and magic available in every Catholic Church throughout the world, the Holy Eucharist, Jesus Himself, our King born for us.

All that is good about Christmas is Christian. All that is good about Christmas is Christ. That includes the emotions. Give to others. The Spirit of Christmas is always “What can I give?”. It is never “What can I get?” Never forget this Truth. How very masculine it is. How very human. God bless you all this Christmas time.

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