I was sitting sipping whisky with a friend of mine on Christmas night. That is whisky without the ‘e’ of course because it was scotch, rather than the Irish whiskey kind. To be fair, the Irish have always had a strong Celtic closeness or bond with our Scottish kinsfolk across the sea. In whisky we have one connection.
That night we had three varieties of whisky; Laphroaig 18 year, Laphroaig Quarter Cask from the Isle of Islay and The Belvenie Doublewood from Speyside. I need to be careful when talking about whisky in this manner because, as we all know, many men have become a little too friendly with the divil’s brew and it has caused them all sorts and kinds of troubles and strife. Lord knows I’ve known “many’s a man” who have had their lives entangled and twisted in multiple directions in pursuit of that amber broth. So, Warning/Disclaimer: Drink carefully and sensibly “malt mates” (ralfy.com).
Now that I have the serious bit over with, I would like to relate a few of the joys that can be found from making a wee drop a wee experience for yourself.
Whisky has a scent unlike any other liquid. I would say it is strong, pure, and natural of the earth. At least that is what my friend and I discussed as we sampled together. When I passed it to my wife and certain other family members at the table they turned their noses up and claimed my friend and I had been duped into drinking some form of motor oil or a type of strong medicine. And medicine it is sure, for “it’ll cure all ills, be you pagan, Christian or Jew” (The Rare Oul’ Mountain Dew).
Strong, pure and natural of the earth! Laphroaig is known as the most intense flavored of Scotch whiskies. It contains a peaty, turf fire taste as well as fine mountain floral undertones. The scent transforms to an old, stone, Irish homeliness if you allow a little time to pass. It is amazing how the smell alone relaxes and the liquid warms the belly. It is great for friendship and, to me, it has a taste of Ireland or Scotland itself. It is something beyond words that cannot be grasped, but which can only be felt as an integration of years living in the fields, bogs, mountains, rivers and streams of those noble countries.
When I drink whisky, I almost feel transferred to a place that may be more idealism than realism. Nonetheless, it is a place that is attainable if only for a short time in my longing. What is this place? It is place where men share a bond of respect and peace. A place where men can be comfortable with who they are and what they say. It is a place where man’s dignity and worth are taken into account and all are granted a respectful ear for their voice in any discussion, no matter the topic.
But in Ireland today I feel many young men yearn for that camaraderie found in solidarity with other men. In the world I speak of there is a feeling of belonging to a family of brothers. There is never any fear of being berated, derided or belittled. It is a place where a man can say something foolish and yet never feel small. In that world friends promote each other. The intention is to make a friend a better man, a great man. This world would never be a place where voice and spirit are crushed by anyone who fears that one-day their friend might surpass them in greatness. In this world a man says to another “I want you to be great and I will decrease if it means you can increase”
In Ireland today it seems young men face such a challenging conflict. On one hand, they have an intense thirst for comradeship but on the other hand they feel obligated to present an image or illusion of toughness, of the unbreakable, the man without weakness. Seeking closeness, they are scared to death so show it for fear that closeness may be interpreted as desire for something more than friendship and result in them being harshly rejected. Imagine a twisted world were you can’t show desire for friendship.
There are some very real forces in our culture today, which have warped the interpretation of friendship in men. Closeness can no longer be accepted as just friendship. There is always the maniacal question lingering in the background “is it something more?” Young men literally have this new culturally fabricated anxiety that their friendship could be interpreted by others or by their own friends as something more than just friendship. Their solution is to appear aloof and avoid all emotional expression. I call this madness an attack that needs to be opposed with all the might of masculine greatness we possess. It is a dangerous snake that has entered the garden to cause division and confusion in young male hearts. Young men are no longer discerning what it means to me male but rather taking on these fake forms of masculinity, desperate to display to the world that they are men and not …….
The forces causing and promoting these ideals are many and varied. Media messages (tv, movie or news report), advertisements and lobby or interest groups are some of the more obvious. We must be ever vigilant lest these forces erode our freedom to decide for ourselves, or our loved ones. They are already here and becoming stronger. Indeed, many men, young and old, have already fallen for the lie that maybe their friendship IS actually more than friendship. They ask whether the longing they have for male friendship is something more.
First and foremost, we must realize that it is okay to be men and human. We don’t need to fear friendship with another man. We can remain strong in conviction that “No, we won’t let you imprison our brothers, fathers or friends any longer.”
And so then…. back to whisky…It is my intention to enjoy it with good friends. There is nothing more to it. We will joke, we will laugh; we will enjoy each other’s company. We will support, uphold and direct each other to greatness and we will abhor and reject anything and anyone who seeks to achieve the opposite. We will accept that we are human and though we have weaknesses, we will pick ourselves up and move forward, virtuous and true.
Let us fight for the lives of our fellow Irish men. Pray for them and pray for good friends and family.
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